January Timeline:

Hospitals... and more Hospitals!

January 5^th – Went to Chilliwack Hospital with Abdominal pain for the millionth time ( or so it really felt like it). They kept me in a private room in emerge... they ran some tests and did a CT.

January 8^th - Told I had large mass in my Colon – Already wrote about this date…Not wanting to do it again so I’m not.  My blog my rules :D

January 8^th – Adam arrived in Chilliwack to be by my side through this… Did I mention yet just how much I love this man  J

January 9^th -Colonoscopy & Moved to the lounge (see picture of my room  ... it was pretty fancy. In the words of Michelle … “Club Med” J

January 10^th - Told your surgery would be on Friday the 13th… Really Friday the 13^th??? I think my luck is pretty sucky at this point and to have my surgery on “Friday the 13^th was my confirmation of that! Ohhh and they found a spot on my lungs during the CT scan (It turned out to be nothing thank goodness... don’t think I could deal with more bad news)

January 11^th - Suspected Morphine Overdose… This day was almost as scary as the day they told me I had cancer… It’s right up there with the scariest days of my life... You see if you don’t already know this about me… one of my biggest fears in life is death… I’m not ready nor do I want to die. God knows this because I remind him all the time. I love him… just not ready to meet him just yet!

So let me tell you about this day… some I don’t quite remember but I’ll tell you what I’ve been told and what I remember… At about 7AM Adam tried waking me up and I would not wake up… I was due for my meds and he knew that I should have been up and feeling pain by this point. He said he kept trying to wake me up and was getting quite scared.. He said I finally woke up and stated I had to go to the washroom … I got up and went.  When I was done I lied back down on the couch and he once again tried to wake me up and I would not wake up… This is when he went to get the nurse – she tried waking me and I would not wake.  I finally came to somewhat and they started asking me questions… all of which I could not answer appropriately – Adam said my voice was just barely a slur/whisper and I was going in and out of consciousness.

My vitals were not good – I would tell you what they were but I honestly don’t remember what they/Adam told me. I just know … it wasn’t good.  This is when they gave me the “Narcan” – Let me just say real quick they were supposed to give me a half a dose… and they accidently gave me the “full dose”.  Adam said I went from being out to sitting straight up… and this is the part I remember (at least parts of it).

I felt the worst burning through my body that I have ever felt – I was convinced I was dying and was screaming just that “I’m dying – I’m dying” over and over. I remember focusing on Adam and asking him why he was letting them kill me (or something to that effect). Talk about saying the most horrible thing to the man you love -  The one who has stood by me through this and the one I know will be there for me through thick and thin for all time. He is truly my soul mate!

As the burning continued through my body,  I started vomiting ( stop ready if you get ill quickly because it gets pretty nasty ) – I don’t know where this vomit was coming from but I can tell you that the smell was like “death” it was horrible.. So horrible all of the attending nurses and Adam left the room – Leaving just one nurse in the room holding a puke tray that was now full… and no one left to give nurse Dean a new one… It was horrible sooo horrible. Once I had finally quit being sick… this is when they said I had to just sleep the effects off… They got me to the bed and wrapped me in about 6 hot sheets and I went to sleep. When I woke up… I was a bit shaken from the whole experience… scared and confused.

The one thing I did soon after I woke up was apologize to those I was mean to during the ordeal. I yelled at one of the nurses to “not touch me” and poor nurse Dean who got stuck with me…

I went off to find the nurse and I said “I’m really sorry for yelling at you… this really isn’t in my character – I was just really afraid and I thought I was going to die” – This is when she replied with “We thought you were going to die too” – Ohhhhh well that made me feel so much better ( not ).

I’m sure I’ve missed parts... but that was the just of my Narcan day from MY perspective. I’m sure Adam would have a different view… I definitely put him through a lot in a very short amount of time. I’m thankful he has a very supportive family – his mom has been just amazing through all of this!

January 11^th - Had second CT of lungs to check spot ( It was clear )

January 13^th - Colon Surgery

Scared, Nervous, Anxious – you name it… I was. I tried to make it seem like it was no big deal but I was so scared… As stated above one of my biggest fears is death – I was afraid I would go in and never come out. But guess what… if you haven’t figured it out I’m here :P I’m typing my journey and things went really well!

January 13^th – Quit smoking – I will never smoke again – Sad that it took Cancer to make me realize I didn’t need them L

January 15^th- Hemoglobin Low- Doc said if it didn’t go up that they would need to give me a blood transfusion. Well it didn’t go up by much but it did and they decided I would not need the transfusion… instead they would just watch and ensure it was going up everyday J

January 15^th - Adam went back to Winnipeg – Blah day.

January 16^th – Started having a lot of pain near my incision and the right side of my stomach looked like I had a huge lump in it… As the day progressed the lump got bigger and my pain intensified… by that evening it had gotten much worse and my favorite nurse “Marlene” was on shift… She gave me some additional pain meds and called down to see if they could have a doctor look at me.  I called Adam on the phone – I was scared as I knew something wasn’t right. The pain was so bad and the lump now looked like more of a soccer ball on the right sight of my stomach. They brought an ultrasound to my room and tried to figure out what was going on. They thought that I had fluid building as it turns out it was my “guts” for lack of a better term! My stiches on the inside had come apart… I was scheduled for an emergency surgery the next day.

January 17^th -Surgery #2 to repair the stitching on the inside… This is when I got the “retention” stiches. I was a lot less mobile after the second surgery.

January 20^th - Found out biopsy results- cancer had spread to some lymph nodes. This is when I found out I was “Stage 3” – Not the news I wanted but I will say that my surgeon did set me up for it. He did tell me that this was a very likely possibility – I just wanted to believe that it had not spread and after the surgery I would be free and clear (as clear as I could be).  I could feel the tears rolling down my face… but I almost felt emotionless... Like I was frozen – then my mind started going 300 miles an hour.

January 23^rd - Surgeon wanted to release me… I asked if I could stay an extra day.  Yes I did – as much as I didn’t want to be there I wanted to be sure I was ready to handle the pain meds on my own at home. Up to this point I had been receiving meds via intervenes - They started me on Hydromorphone (Dilaudid) orally.

January 24^th - Released from hospital and Adam arrives again! YAY! J

January 27^th - Had an appointment with my family doctor to get some of my staples out! This is when I was sitting in the chair waiting for her to write me prescription… I started feeling really hot… My vision started blurring... I remember looking at the doctor and saying “I don’t feel so good” – Next thing I recall I was on the floor in the office… motionless looking up – I couldn’t speak but or move but I was aware of what was going on around me.

I could hear my doctor on the phone with 911 saying “we don’t have a pulse” – All I could think of was… “Ohhh yes I do have a pulse I’m right here I’m alive” – but couldn’t say nothing or move… I came too shortly before the ambulance got there they gave me cool cloths and a drink… When the ambulance got there my vitals once again weren’t so good… Back I went to the Hospital via ambulance to the ER – They observed me for the day and gave me shot of “Atrophen” At least that’s what I think it was called…later that evening they sent me home stating it was probably Vagal nerve (Vagus). My doctor thought that my vagal nerve fighter flight response kicked in from the trauma over the last month.

January 28^th – Well... I thought I was on the road to recovery. I was sitting in my bed watching the “NHL Skills Competition” Adam was building my cabinet and Lacey was playing on her IPOD (Court was at work). As I was sitting there in my bed I could feel the exact same feeling – Adam/Lacey called 911 and I was heading back to the ER via ambulance. Fainting spells continued and my vitals would dip when I had the spells. They did some tests and put on antibiotics via IV for an infection. ( when my blood work came back my counts were off which told them I had some kind of infection ).

January 29^th- Admitted to hospital ECG’s and CT scan done- no known reason for fainting known.  Doctor Fitzpatrick believes they are “Post surgery trauma” – Essentially he said it’s my body’s way of taking rests from everything I’ve gone through in a very short amount of time.

I am still getting these spells intermittently but they are spread out and not near as often… which I am very thankful for. My vitals no longer change when I have them as I believe I have learned to somewhat control them…

January 31^st - Released from hospital and Adam leaves :( Happy Birthday to my mommy – my angel in heaven looking down and taking care of me!

So that’s my January… Quite the month to say the least!

I had so much support through this month and I thank all of you for being there for me… I have typed a lot today so I’m going to do a page of just thank you’ s at a later time… HEY DON’T BE MEAN I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE THINKING! I SAID I WOULD GET TO IT GEESH! :P