Another very long week....

Miss me? Well you should... it's almost been a week since my last post :P 

Chemo truly sucks - really did not like it this time - I am truly a big baby and I'm happy that I have Adam to cheer me up when I'm having a "cry baby" moment and feeling sorry for myself... I have had a few of those this time around... ok maybe more then a few hee hee - and no asking Adam how many!!! I just wanted it to go away.. wanted to feel better and not feel tired and nauseous - I think maybe having my routine all mixed up also sort of set me back - along with the mini surgery I had to install the port...  As promised below is the picture of the where they did the incision - it's really not that big although I can tell you that it was uncomfortable for a few days... 

I also didn't really like how it felt when they inserted the needled so that I could get Chemo - it goes right through the skin and into the port ( which is under my skin) and because I had only had the surgery a few days prior it was still really sensitive..

My sleepiness and nausea lasted a day longer then the last round - By my count yesterday ( Friday ) I should have been feeling better - and I was not - thank goodness I have the most amazing boss and he gave me the day off... I really don't think I could have made it through another day!  I definitely enjoyed my sleep... 

I did something else when I went for Chemo - I went to the Chemo cosmetic room where you can get free hats - blankets and wigs... and I got me a wig!

 Still not sure how I feel about it but ... it did make me smile! As I said before I am not bald nor do I have any bald spots & I don't  think I will go completely bald but it's really thinning which had me very upset - for most it would not seem like a big deal - and really if you saw me you would think??? Really what's the issue she has tons of hair... but it's not tons for me... I have always had ALOT of hair and not having it all... is making me feel sad :( ( I told you all I was a suck.. geeesh )

I'm getting used to how my feet and hands tingle when they touch something cold... it's the oddest feeling... and I can only explain it by saying it's like a cross between when your foot falls asleep and stepping on the coldest surface to where it stings ... mesh those two feeling together and that's what I feel when I reach in for the juice jug or to pull something out for dinner - again it's odd but I'm getting used to it and know that it's coming! I actually have gloves attached to the fridge via magnet to use... Usually only use them when going into the freezer though - they were a gift from the cancer clinic... they came from the supplier of the drug that makes you sensitive to the cold.

Well... not much more to say tonight I promise I'll try and be better at posting - just when I feel the way I had for the last few days - the only thing I wanted was my pillow and my blanky! PS: Got me a new Jets blanky! w000t it's awesome! 

Charlie and my Blanky! :)

Ohhhh yea - if you haven't already please order from my Party - it closes on April 4th  :) 

https://michelle-ormiston.scentsy.ca/Scentsy/Buy?partyId=77598595

  

The weekend... and what's coming up!

Loving the sunshine!!! Had a great weekend... but I guess before I get into that I should tell you what happened after my post Wednesday...

Wednesday afternoon I had a routine follow up appointment with Dr. Shwarz (the surgeon who did my resection) - He had a look at my tummy - asked if I was feeling any pain and I let him know I was doing great when it came to my stomach.

I then let him know what was going on with my arm and how my picc got infected and how Abby was waiting/looking for a Surgeon to insert the port - he looked at me and off he went and made all the arrangements to have me in surgery the following day - woah... talk about service! He said that I had waited long enough and had been through enough and that he wanted to do this... ( he's a pretty great/amazing doc!! ).

So Thursday I had the port installed at about 2:45PM - and was home by 6ish the same day. I have yet to see what it looks like as it's all bandaged up.. but as soon as they take off the bandages I'll take some pictures of it - it was a little sore but nothing major at all! I honestly expected it to be worse!

So I'm now a week behind in my Chemo schedule - time to shift things and move things around grrrrr... but on a good note because of the shift and it being on Monday instead of a Tuesday - Laura will be spending the day with me! It will be nice to catch up...

The girls and I took Charlie to the puppy park today! Really loving all of this sunshine - starting to feel like spring!

On a more depressing note ... my hair is really thinning - not balding fully but I can see scalp which really upsets me - I thought I would really deal with the hair loss thing a lot better then I have been... I tried convincing myself that it would be no big deal... that if it all fell out I would just shave it and that would be the end of that - well it's not really that easy for me - I miss my long hair - I miss being able to style my hair - and do not want to part with any of my hair - and I find myself just wearing hats! - I feel super unattractive right now - No matter how many times Adam tells me I'm beautiful ( and he tells me all the time ) - I just don't feel it right now! I want my hair back... and I really REALLY think Cancer sucks!

It's been a few days... and mostly because i've been feeling really good and there wasn't alot to write about!

I had a fun filled weekend of slurpee's and ice cold drinks hahaha! Watched some hockey - got real sad when the Jets lost... and that's about as exciting as my weekend got!

So now onto Monday ...

I had an appointment with the Oncologist - he just wanted to know how I was doing and get an update from me... My response "Well let's see your giving me Chemo - so... Not so good doc :P "

But let's be serious for just a moment - he said that i'm taking the treatments quite well and won't make any changes to them (1 point for me). He prescribed me some pills and a mouth wash for the sores in my mouth and said it should "help" take them away.

Now on Monday I also had an X-RAY to see if my picc line was still usable for my chemo - which is scheduled for the following day. I waited around to see if I could get the results - and they sent me home stating that I would get them when I come the next day.

So Tuesday - Tam and I arrive at the hospital and they have a look at my picc site - and they all looked a little worried - multiple nurses standing in a circle talking about it - they then paged my Oncologist... That's when I knew things were not going to go as planned... It's "ME" why would things be simple... nope they never are lol... I always seems to make things more difficult. Turns out they had to remove my picc - as it had come out so much on it's own 10+ cm - which I guess is not good - Also the entry point was infected ( got the results back from the swab the week before ) ... So no chemo for me yesterday...

So what's next - well I am now waiting for a call where I will have to go in and get a port inserted. It goes under the skin and is on my chest... You can see a picture of it here... - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Port_%28medical%29

The nurse stated that it was better then a picc line and could stay in much longer... So that's the latest and greatest folks... Just remember if your reading this - I am not your "typical" patient... I tend to like to do things the hard way and make it more difficult lol - so have no fear your journey ( if your going through it ) will be alot lets eventful I'm sure :)

Let me just start this by saying....

I GOT THE HOUSE! Yay - I should have posted this sooner as I knew the other day ... but there has been alot going on with my move to say the least. I won't get into that as my mom always said if you have nothing nice to say about someone your best to just say nothing at all - but... I'm excited that I found a place and I move in on April 30th :)

So...on another note -  I started getting the "small sores" in my mouth that they said I would... They're kind of like small canker sores - well at least that's what they remind me of... thus far I only have 3 that I can feel... if there's more I don't know bout them and that's ok by me :)

Another side effect that I've been noticing is my finger nails - they are starting to peel - looked it up tonight to see what others have experienced and mine are great compared to some... So again I count my blessings and be thankful that they are not as horrible as some.

On a closing note tonight... if your 30+ and haven't been screened... make the appointment! Don't wait... and don't think "it won't happen to me" - because that's exactly what I always thought!

Well... it would seem I have been neglecting my blog... so let's start with how my Saturday went...

Hmmm nevermind I can't really tell you how that day went ... as there is really not much to tell. I can sum it up in one word "SLEEP".

I didn't really think it was possible to sleep THAT much and to be so dang tired right after  waking up - my eyes would barely be open and I would want to close them all over again -   I did this not only for Saturday but for much of Sunday as well.

In between I did feel nausea (which I hate grrr)  so I'm kinda happy I was sleeping through most of it.

On Monday I worked so.. really had no choice but to be awake - but I was tired none the less and still had some nausea - thank goodness for Metoclopramide - that's my breakthrough nausea medication. I have 2 others that I take the first 4 days after Chemo - but this one I can take 4 times a day as needed in addition... They are magical pills and help take that awful feeling away pretty quickly.

Now for Tuesday...

I went to Chilliwack Hospital to get my picc dressing changed - and things didn't go as routine as they should have -  It is me... nothing can just be "normal/simple" :P  So it looks like I may need to get a new picc - this one has managed to push itself out beyond the measurement they allow. They also think that it's infected and took a swab (no results back yet) - So what does all this mean? It means next week I go for an X-RAY to see how far the picc has moved and to see if it's still safe for my Chemo - if it's not ... then they put in a new picc or perhaps they will have an alternative method... Who knows.

Also... I can no longer get my picc dressing changed in Chilliwack -  they have asked that I drive to Abby Cancer Clinic to get it done... This means an extra trip to Abby once a week (for those of my family reading this back home... its about 25 minutes away)- which I really don't mind. Everyone there is so kind and really understanding - love the chemo room nurses :)

As for today - I'm excited to tell you that I feel so much better and that I am slowly taking in "cold" drinks... I know it doesn't seem like much -  but I will never take for granted how great ice cold drinks are! I may or may not have told you.. but the chemo drug that makes me sensitive to cold is "Oxaliplatin" if you want to read about it here's the link -  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oxaliplatin

Well... I am off to watch the Jet's game... talk to you all soon! <3

Well today I was much like Charlie looks in this picture... Ohhh so sleepy! Napped lots today and plan on doing the same as soon as I am done typing this out.. well perhaps not nap - It will be bed time.

The nausea is here but doesn't seem to be as bad as last time - which is a plus...but as stated above I am very sleepy this time around.

Tomorrow I get to see if we have a new home - very excited! Drove past it today and yesterday ( yes i'm becoming a house stalker ) none the less I think its super cute! It's not very big which is what I love about it - sort of reminds me of my old house ( less to clean too haha! )

Well I know this is short but ... like I said a million times above - I am very sleepy and need my rest!

Good night world! :)

Well Chemo number 2 down - w000t and so far i'm feeling good! I hope it remains that way as last time I really didn't start going down hill until after my pump came off (which is today). 

I will say if I'm going to be sick I'm happy that it happens over the weekend and not during the week when I'm working ( small blessings ).

On a side note I may have found a new home!!! I'm still bitter about having to move during this time... but I guess this is just one of those lessons in life... When you think you have a friend with a heart and realize you don't bah  "c'est la vie!"

 I go and look at it on Saturday morning - i'm the first one looking at it and will have DD in hand if she lets me have it. I spoke to the owner for about 20 minutes on the phone and she seems really sweet- so excited! It's a small 2 bedroom rancher with a fully fenced backyard for my Charlie!

Things are starting to look up! :)

Today I dedicate my blog to my girls...

It's been a rough night to say the least. My mind was going about 200 miles per hour... and when I woke up it started all over again. I really don't want to go to chemo today - I finally feel better, even went into the office yesterday.. And now it's going to start all over again. I really don't like being sick and I certainly don't like having to be dependent on others for every little thing :(

I dedicated my blog to my girls today because they are my world and I could not imagine a life without them - I fight... I fight for my girls. Today I needed to remind myself of that - I need to be strong not only for me but for them!

I know the road ahead is going to get worse before it gets better... but today I just feel super emotional about the whole thing. I really just want it to be over already... Sick of being Sick ( there should really be a shirt that says that - I would definitely be getting it!).

The last couple of days have been the closest to normal I have felt in such a long time - no pain - no sickness - etc... And today I give that up and go for round 2 of Chemo - hence the reason I don't want to go. I used to take feeling great for granted ... and I'm sure I will again in the future but right now - every moment that I feel great I definitely am cherishing! 

Ingrid will be here to pick us up in .. ohh about 5 hours - today is the first day Courteney will come along with us (off school due to BC teacher's strike).

So no matter how I'm feeling... today I shall be strong - not only for me but for her!

Can't believe I haven't blogged since Wednesday... I thought about it - does that count? I'm guessing not ha ha! :P

Thursday and Friday the nausea finally started going away although I still couldn't keep anything in my system for long - which is the reason I didn't go to Winnipeg for the weekend :(

I really wanted to go - it was Adam's birthday and it would have been nice to spend it with him... Spoil him as he always spoils me... Gosh knows I have put him through heck these last few months - he deserved a weekend of being pampered that's for sure! We also had tickets to the game on the 1st - which I missed ... He went with his mom instead :)

Ohhh by the way the pic above is my new hair - i'm not sure about having short hair and it's a bit messy here but... it is what it is.. can't change it now!

My one fear was not necessarily  "losing" my hair... - ok who am I trying to kid -  it scares me... but losing it while it was long I think would have devastated me - If it's going to happen... I at least want it to be short.

My weekend was pretty great as I started to drive again w0000 h0000 - so excited about that! I think Courteney and Charlie are even more excited then I was - no more cabs for her and Charlie got to go for rides AND go to the PUPPY park! :) Thanks to all of you who have chauffeured me and my child over the last few months - it truly was appreciated! I would thank you all individually but there was alot of you who helped me out! So you know who you are *Thank you* :)

I can also drink COLD/ICY drinks again!!! Today my goal is to go and get a slurppee before my next round of chemo (Tuesday afternoon ) where the whole process starts over again! I don't like the fact that these treatments deprive me of my nice cold drinks.. but to be positive at least I get to have them every couple weeks - it really could be worse - I could have cancer? Ohhh wait crap I have that too lol... :) (that was humor for those reading this that don't know me lol)

I also got a special delivery on Saturday morning - Rhonda and Lindsay brought me homemade chocolate chip cookies ( they were even still warm ) ! Seriously I am so spoiled! If you want one you better hurry because they won't last long :P

So you see my weekend has been pretty awesome :)